Hey ladies and gents ! 🙂 I have since relapsed with no contact and am beginning to feel very stuck again.
My ex decided to go ahead and promise me the loyalty that I requested without us being in an exclusive relationship. Although it is something that I want , I have to question whether this is something that he wants and also whether taking this road is the correct one as far as my life goals. He seemed to be very receptive to getting back together and offered to take me out on a date. He keeps telling me that he can’t go very long without speaking to me and wants me in his life forever. I am not sure about what I want mostly because my gut is telling me that something is off. Yesterday I ended up catching him in a lie involving a girl and the discovery is making me feel like I am back at square one emotionally. I have heard several times that the universe/god allows a problem to keep re-entering your life in order for you to learn how to fix it and I believe that this might be happening here. I texted him yesterday after my discovery “How are we supposed to get anywhere if you keep on lying to me?”. He kept calling and texting but I was too angry to respond. I feel that I shouldn’t respond all together, cut him loose, and continue on no contact but my guilt of it seeming like I am ghosting him is preventing me from doing so. I remember all the really horrible aspects of our relationship and how he had no real consideration for my feelings which is why I feel that I should just cut him off. I am not really sure what to do but I need to do something and make a change in my life. This hurts.