anita –

the only life i’d say i want is the life god would want for me. unfortunately i don’t have a clear, planned out vision of exactly what house i would want or what job and things like that. i’m actually struggling with what to major in. i just want to do the right thing which i feel god has. although that almost contradicts what i’ve said earlier, i’m not really sure how god works. i feel that he is kind of fickle with me. i feel that he is always by my side ready to help me, but i also feel that at times (which are lots of times) he would change his mind about me. i think just making art is what i’d want. just to make art and live comfortably. which is farfetched and almost unrealistic. it’s more of a retirement plan, huh? a life where i don’t necessarily work but i keep busy.

the only thing i could say that i really want is a person. that one person that i like, but that’s a thing i feel is pending, although i feel like this person could be what they call “the one”. maybe it’s all a little crush, but this is the third year in and i still like them just as much as i did three years ago.