Hi Antia,
You are very kind to follow up with my post. You must be a busy lady, lol. To answer your question..he is concerned about “performance” due to his anxiety. I have told him that I love him, and that even touching and exploring other avenues is fine with me. I know he cares a lot about me, and is willing to discuss things, so that is a good thing.

To update on a few things….I told college guy that I do care about him, and have had these feelings for him for a while, and that is why I have been closed off with him. He did listen…but of course being Facebook messages..it is hard to guage things. I hate that I still have such strong feelings for him. I have suppressed them for so long..and never thought I would speak to this guy again. He probably thought I was a loon, messaging him to tell him this, since I am an ocean away, and it is really early am my time zone.

…I also said I did not think it was wise fo rme to tell him how I feel, but at least all my cards were out on the table. The bottom line is– I do love my husband, and he loves me. I know he is trying to work on things….and I am a very patient person. It’s just..the ONE person in my past…that could make me yearn for them so much…is now in my present. And I remember what you said, Antia..that one bite would not be enough. You are correct. And I know I am already hurting and feeling torn…and I haven’t even seen him …or ever will see him. So I guess I lose no matter what.