Hi Anita,
I know it sounds a bit confusing, my apologies. I appreciate greatly your good questions. I’ll try to answer the best I can. Without going into a lot of detail- the kind of job my husband has can be high stress & demanding. Often times, it doesn’t leave a lot of time at the end of the day for good intimacy. Also…from 2011 I had a lot of family issues/ trauma that still affects me to this day, and just adds to the stress. Not the best excuses for lack of intimacy, but factors.

My husband swears up & down he loves me in “all ways”, that he does want the intimacy…just that he has to “work out” his issues. I think he is slso afraid of trying, but not being able to fully be intimate, if you get my point. He has gone to a doctor, and all is normal. There is no one else in the picture, either.

The kind of love we have…hmmmm. I know for him, he loves me very much. I love him as well…however (and this eas even before college guy came into view), due to the lack of intimacy…my desire for him has waned a bit. When you have gone along, for a while, w/o intimacy, it’s almost like you are empty. Our sex life used to be great. I still find him attractive. The problem is- lack of intimacy for a long period of time, coupled w/ this man reappearing, has made me confused, irritated, stressed, etc.