TriangleSun,

Thank you for your response. You’re very right. I did what I felt was right in the moment and I can’t blame myself for doing that. It just hurts knowing that I miss all the things that I never considered before I ended things. I have to trust myself that I made the right decision and that it was for the best at the time. I do understand that I should leave him be with this new girl. But I’ve never experienced more pain than seeing these two do things together that we used to do. I’ve had friends tell me it’s not the same as when we were together, but it doesn’t matter. The point is he’s trying to use her to fill the void that I left and it hurts so badly. I wish it was easier to say “if he’s happy, I’m happy”.

Anita,

Thank you for your response. I have never seen myself as someone who was afraid of the intensity of love but you may very well be right. It was very hard for me to fathom that someone loved me that much and it did freak me out that someone was willing to do anything for me. I’m not the kind of girl who likes guys that play “hard to get” but it definitely threw me off that I was with someone so loving and willing to be so vulnerable around me. I think it was a lot for me to handle and on top of that we were in a bit of a funk with our physical relationship and I think just bored overall. Instead of ending it I should have talked to him about it to try to work through it instead of running away in fear and guilt. I see that now. Unfortunately, now is too late and I don’t want to be a home-wrecker and interfere with him and this new girl.

I want more than anything to run over to his house and tell him how I feel but I am so scared of rejection and the thought of him shutting me down because he’s happy enough with this new girl. I know he still has hidden feelings for me and remembers how good we were together and our inside jokes but I don’t think he would ever open up to me again. I’m trying my best to move on but it’s hard knowing that I’m the one that ended a perfectly healthy relationship out of fear and boredom.

Elle