Dear Aislynn:

First, to what you wrote last in the above post. Your ex boyfriend told you that you will never find anyone else, that you will not do well without him because he was angry (spiteful, to use your word) and wanted to hurt you and to want him in the future and be sorry for rejecting him. And he succeeded, his manipulation worked. All this time later, his words are still fresh in your brain and you believe him… at least some. And you want to contact him just to prove him wrong… and according to him manipulative plan, you will reach out to him and it will be his turn to say: now, I don’t want you!

In regard to the rest of your post: I would tell a man you date in the future that you don’t want children any time it comes up, anytime future plans with you or with a potential partner comes up in conversation. You can even tell him on the first date if it comes to your mind. Once it is in your mind while you are dating: say it, don’t keep it in, that will distress you, i think.

An introverted man, not a popular and very social guy and one who does not want to have children, at this point, would be a good match for you.. as well as one who is capable of providing comfort to you, a mutual comforting prospect.

You know you are not ready or willing now, and that is okay. You don’t need to follow a marketed, socially accepted script, whatever it may be. You don’t have to follow any tradition… you make your own way. This is the beauty of freedom.

And I would like to think of Aislynn as free…

Keep up the good work!

anita