Dear Amy:

i was too eager in my last post to you, telling you that no contact with him is a must: my goodness, I got a bit arrogant there!

In my experience, my own father visiting me after their divorce did nothing for me, nothing positive. So that “gaping hole” in your daughter’s life, well, his presence in her life may not at all fill a hole of that kind… and you being so occupied with that man, meaning less available for your daughter- that in itself may curve that “gaping hole in her life.”

It is tough to be stuck in a no-win situation but there is a way.. I know there is. This reminds me of reading someone in a prison cell asking; how do I free myself from this prison cell? And the answer was: no longer wanting out!

This brings me back to emotionally accepting a situation for the time being. There is calm in such a process, calm that cannot but help you see a way for some Win in this situation…

Oh, for me to understand more about the situation, what there is to accept and even if it is possible to accept some things: what is it that you think the father is actually doing against your daughter. What do you think he is doing that is harming her, specifically???

anita