Dear Amy:

I read all your post from the beginning of this thread. A few things:

Congratulations for Three years and a few days of being sober yourself!

I suppose you are trying to protect your child referring to your child as he and she at different times, protective.

My personal sentiment: the one person I wish he/ your ex., would hit is his mother who treated him as a companion instead of as a child and she, his mother, did a lot to create who he has become.

You wrote yourself at the beginning: “I feel that the only way I will be able to let go and to heal is to completely cut ties”- the conclusion I came with later on my own.

More of my thoughts: he is a crappy influence on your child, so if I was you, I would never, ever do anything to encourage the father to attend your child’s events or spend more time with your child.

The man is so antagonistic to you at this point that if you want him to do X, better tell him you want him to do the opposite of X and he may just do X to spite you.

I wouldn’t hope for him to change or improve. I would only hope he feels his age and gets too old, too drunk and too involved with his girlfriend to have time for your child.

I hope the mediation will result in demanding he takes classes just so there is a chance he will not attend those and will get his visitations reduced or stopped.

If I was you, all I would hope for is that he will be a less and less of an interested father, not more as you hoped before, but less. It is better for your child to not have a father than to have a damaging father.

Till later, take care of yourself:

anita