Hi Anita

Yes, I’m using he/she/my child interchangeably to protect my child, and myself.

I still stand by what I said about my cutting ties, and you were spot on when suggesting it yourself. However I’m scared that doing so will eventually bite me. If I were to do so, and he decides to take me to court, I would be frowned upon for not attempting to do everything in my power to ensure my child maintains a relationship with my ex, and being viewed as just a woman scorned. If I were to produce my evidence (or lack there of) of abuse and neglect at that stage, the question would be asked why I didn’t go down the legal path myself, to protect my child.

That said, and in hindsight, I feel that I’ve probably taken the wrong path. It is possibly too late as I’m already in too deep. Can’t exactly pull out now. I’ve already told him that if he completes xyz, he will be able to see his child again. I was hoping that if I put enough obstacles in his way, he would give up. It doesn’t seem like that’s the direction it’s heading though. I think, best case scenario is that I drag it out as long as I possibly can. The process would be much more difficult for him in terms of practicality as I don’t need to take time off work, and don’t need to rely on public transport or other people to get me to mediation, lawyers appointments, court, etc.

As for being too old, to drunk and too busy with his girlfriend to be involved, that’s a possibility. He has already pulled back about 75% by not wanting to have anything to do with our child outside of his visitation since the gf came on the scene. (Heck, he hasn’t even requested to see our child at all since I pulled visitation! Not even for Christmas!)
However, his mother would never allow him to pull out 100%. She adores our child and I’m pretty sure it would kill her if she never got to see her only grandchild again. Might be a different story if he’s gotten his new gf pregnant (which I suspect he may have), and there’s another grandchild to spoil and destroy like she did her own children. I don’t know. I’m just speculating.
I remember having a discussion with a friend of mine back in the days not long after I left him. I said to her “I wish he would just find himself a girlfriend and leave us the hell alone”. Be careful what you wish for, eh?