Dear Adam — I do notice your thread here has become a bit off-topic, however I do hope you post again and pitch in if you have any input.

More to Anita,

I’m happy to hear I have helped. That is a huge part of motivation here. Helping others makes me feel I have some sort of purpose 🙂

And because you have shared, I would like to share too. As I’m sure was glaringly obvious, I could see a lot of myself in Adam’s girlfriend. I, by nature, am a flirtatious person. No matter if I’m single or taken or talking to a male or female, I tend to be a flirt. Because I am a straight woman, nobody views my interactions with other women as a threat, but I can understand how my actions with other men could be seen that way. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that I am an avid part of the salsa dance community, which tends to be flirtatious in nature (its a sensual dance after all). However, because I never have any intentions of acting on my flirtations, I never view them as bad or hurtful. If ever comes a point where someone gets the wrong impression, I always bring up my significant other and make it absolutely crystal clear that I am not unfaithful.

Fortunately, I have been lucky enough to date men who accept this part of me and dont see it as a threat, but rather smile and embrace it. However, in reading these posts, I have become more conscious of it and have begun to question why I do it and if it’s good or bad.

I actually spoke with my boyfriend about it last night and he told me for him, there are two pieces that make my flirtatiousness not an issue for him. 1. He has seen that it is how I interact with everyone. I even do it with his friends (I make fun of them in a playful way in front of him). Because I dont hide it, and because I do it with people he trusts, it doesnt bother him. 2. He trusts me completely and knows that I would never betray him, which also makes it a non-issue.

Anyways, I just wanted to share the above to show that everyone’s comments come from their own experiences. I think thats why this forum is so lovely and successful. Everyone can come at things from a different point of view. In my opinion, there is no right or wrong, but simply different choices on which perspective makes the most sense for you.