Hi Amber,

My heart breaks reading your story. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this, but I’m also humbled by the things you said. Bulimic until December 2015, which means to me that in February of 2016, you are no longer bulimic. That is a HUGE achievement and should be celebrated. You should be so proud of yourself – of what youve accomplished.

Also I would like to add here, that you are not alone. Just like you and many others on this thread, I have suffered depression and continue to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.I had trouble at home and with friendships and a variety of other things in my life that are still with me today. My parents didnt believe me when I tried to express my anxiety to them (as they are both doctors and dont believe in psychiatry) and told me I was dramatic. It wasnt until I lost it in the middle of a class in college that I finally started to seek help myself.

I tried a few therapists, I tried talking to friends, I tried writing. All of these things helped, but nothing helped more than the therapist I am with now. He is the first person I have found who seems to speak the same language as me. Who can see where my anxiety comes from and help me to rationalize it. I stayed away from medication for some time but ultimately he put me on a low dose of a medication that helps stop the swirling of thoughts. I still talk to him today, and in the course of a year and a half my panick attacks have gone from several times daily to once a month (if that).

In my (adminittedly limited) experience, finding a professional who could relate to me was my key to feeling human again. I cant say I have answers for you because everyone is different, but I would suggest perhaps trying therapy again, with a different person who may understand you just a bit better. Just having that safe space to talk may help you.

And of course, please continue posting here. I am more than happy to help, to listen, to love, as is everyone else that is here. You have been through so much trauma, but life is also full of beautiful things you should give yourself the chance to see.

Im here for you. We all are.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by Dina.