Dear Amy:

“A perpetual cycle that (you) need to break…” Reminds me of your one year of drinking, that was a perpetual cycle that you repeated every day for a year, from your share… how did you break that cycle? Might be answers there that may apply here.

Addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling etc… are all perpetual cycles that people are stuck in, feeling powerless over those behaviors, feeling the behaviors were stronger. And it doesn’t matter how destructive those behaviors…

And so is this cognitive addiction, or obsession with him and the situation. Maybe comparable to an addiction to food because unlike drugs, one has to eat. So unlike other obsessions, yours is about something you have to live with, so it is comparable to food addiction in my mind.

I know, I know that it is possible for you to break this cycle, it is just not easy. First I … appreciate how powerful this cycle or obsession/ addiction (what do you prefer to call it? I will refer to it by the word you choose!)- sort of know thy enemy, appreciate the power you are dealing with, knowing this is NOT an easy endeavor.

What do you think so far? If you agree, it will take time and we can go on and on figuring it out, trying this or that until we hit something that works. i am willing to go with this however long it takes!

anita