Dear vinni:

You wrote your last post yesterday. I wonder how you are feeling today.

Good questions in the post above last. These questions are making me think. This is what you asked:

1. “How could one’s feelings for someone can change even in crisis”?

2. “Why do they instead of trying to make relationship work,they break it,ignore it,run away from it”?

3. “if your love for someone is controled by situational and environmental factors,Then how could you call it love.”?

4. “How can you love someone unconditionaly for 6 years, and in Just three months,all of a sudden that Man means nothing to you”?

And then you wondered what happens, what is supposed to happen with the memories of loving feelings and broken promises.

I think that if you came up with answers to these questions, or an adequate understanding regarding these questions, your pain will decrease by a lot. I wonder if I can be of help in answering these questions…It will take more than one post, and we will have to work on answering these questions together. If you agree, I am willing!

Question 4: there are assumptions in the question that may not be correct: it may not have been “all of a sudden” for her, it may have been an over time thing that she did not communicate well with you about. And it may not be that you mean nothing to her. If she is rude to you as you mentioned, that means you mean something to her, otherwise she’d be neutral, indifferent, slightly empathetic maybe, but not rude.

How does a woman love you for so long and at one point ends the relationship, is that a good question, with no assumptions?

The image that comes to my mind is what I saw in the woods where I live, a fawn, a baby deer following its mother into the forest. The baby deer has its eyes on the mother. It will follow her anywhere and everywhere she goes. No questions asked, nothing matters, it will follow. Eyes on mother. The mother on the other hand, her eyes are looking at what is in front of her. She hardly every looks back to see the baby. If someone threatens the baby, she will do something to protect it but not all that much. I watched those nature movies: the mother does something but not a whole lot… because nature states she needs to protect herself so to give birth to more babies, so one less is not the end of the world for her. But for the baby, one less mother, well that is the end of the world for it.

If this image means something to you, in your situation, let me know and take care of yourself in this difficult time!

anita