Dear Amy:

I wish there was a way for you to have no contact with him but you are saying this is not possible, at least not at this point as you wait the results of the latest legal maneuvering. You are not going to stop thinking if you believe it is necessary. Maybe in the future, the legal activity will stop, there will be a break and no need to think about the next legal happening. For now, why don’t you… assign 10 minutes of thinking about the case every two hours, like clock work, or some such arrangement. It is necessary, you say, to think, so think… in moderation. You can even start with thinking about him and the case for 20 minutes straight every single hour and take a break 40 minutes every hour.

I understand your anger and frustration. Here comes my suggestion to Emotionally Accept him, you, the situation. Stop resisting what is reality, stop banging your head against the wall, figuratively, and crying out again and again: “This is not my life! This is not my life!” You end up with a bruised, bleeding head, a terrible headache and … it is still your life!

anita