Dear Nan:

You are welcome!

My goodness! This communication with the first husband must remain a secret then! because the infidelity reason can cost you much more money than otherwise, correct?

Talking about money, him being the one who saves… that gives him an advantage if you are not aware of where the money is. Do you know where the money is? Do you have the papers and info and all the numbers make sense? And everything is in both names?

Then, other than money: it must have been tough all those years to be the one who has no… right to be miserable or distressed or troubled and he being the one with such… right. As if there is no validity to your other-than-happy feelings and there is validity to his! That is bs, of course. Not true (you shared here your childhood, for one… and there is plenty of reason and validity to your less than happy feelings at any time) and not fair.

The fact that there were no arguments before means you accepted his view, in practice: you accepted him being the disadvantaged in life party to the partnership, and you, the one with the advantage. Does it mean you always agreed with him?

And are you afraid of him? What do you think will his reaction be to you filing for divorce? Did you see him angry before- how does he behave when angry?

anita