Dear Wisdom:

I mentioned above your spiritual beliefs. Just now I re-read your posts on this thread so to understand better those beliefs. This is what I understand and please tell me if I am correct, where I am correct and where I am not and elaborate, if needed…?

So, here is what I understand you believe (I will write it from the first person point of view, as if I was you):

Other people say god is their friend and they have a personal relationship with him, so maybe he is my friend but I am not sure about it. Maybe he doesn’t like me very much. He has a plan for other people. His plan for them is their destiny. Then he must have a plan for me and I too have a destiny. But I think my destiny is to be alone and a failure because there is something wrong with me, different, undesirable that makes people not want to be with me (or be with me only if they have no one else to be with). Maybe god is testing me and has been testing me and I failed his tests. Maybe he showed me what to do and i didn’t notice and didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

I better listen more to god because if there is a way for me to have a better life than I had so far, god has the answers and the plan. All I need is to know what plan he has for me and follow it. I can’t do anything right by myself, really, and my only chance to do anything right is his plan.

Except that maybe the plan is that I don’t do anything right and my purpose in this world is to be an example for others for how not to be and how not to live. That could be a purpose and a destiny, to be a screw up as an example for others to not be like that.

???

anita