G’day Samantha,

I hate leaving and I hate travelling long flights, it makes me feel so isolated and alone and I know I have difficulty being alone, especially feeling so far away from my family and friends. I don’t like being back in Singapore

I was thinking about this, and you also mentioned some painful memories of the past about your family. I have this feeling that it’s more that when you go back home it’s like nothing much has changed. Your parents your still alive (I assume), people you know, whether vaguely or not may still be doing the same things. You see the same shops, you breathe again the same air as everyone else, you realize that your not as unique or individual when your surrounded by people from your own culture with a shared history. At least this is what i felt. When i was in S.Korea being simply Caucasian made me feel very special let alone being Australian. I felt completely different, i felt unique. I only studied ever so briefly in S.Korea and when i came back and it was hard reconnecting with loved ones. Overall it’s like you have moved forward completely and the past is just that, but by going back you have to re-connect to those experiences. Like you have magically ‘leveled up’ and everyone is still the same. The flight would make you very anxious, understandably because all this built up energy for 10 + hours! all these thoughts in your head (your probs already there!).

I think it would be for the best if you create a ‘truce’ within yourself and try to accept that being in Singapore is only temporary. It’s hard having to be dragged backwards when all you want to do is go forwards. As Anita stated above, just try to focus on the goal; living in England. The journey will not be easy, but then if it was, well it wasn’t much of a journey to begin with 🙂

Best of luck! and keep us updated (if you want 😉
Sincerely,
Matty