Dear lsler:

Different scenarios:

1. She looks at you (an observation you made with your eyes).
Is she really looking at me, or is she lost in thought and is just staring my way randomly?
I will check this: I am smiling at her.
Is she returning my smile?
Yes, she did and it looks genuine. She seems nice.
I am going to get up and ask her if I can join her.
Or: she did not return my smile. Is it because she doesn’t like me or is spaced out.
I will smile at her again… hey, I will wave at her.
Oh, she did notice and she is smiling kind of absent minded, oh I guess she was spaced out.

2. She is looking at me. I feel she is thinking badly of me.
And I know this pattern of mine: when someone looks at me, I automatically think they are thinking badly of me.
so this is “business as usual” for my brain: someone looking at me–> They are thinking badly of me.
Disengage this connection. Think about something else. Or go to number 1.

???

anita