Dear Anyone:

I understand your concern about getting older (although 31 sounds young to me) and frustrations from the past, wondering if there can ever be a man suitable enough for you.

But you wrote about this man: “Whenever we are together, I often end up losing temper and feel irritated.” As long as this is the case, you shouldn’t marry him, this is for sure. I mean, what kind of a life will it be for you to often be irritated? Even if you manage to not lose your temper, feeling angry inside often, is not a good way to live!

If you continue to consider him for marriage, I think it is a good idea for the two of you to attend a competent, hard working psychotherapist for couple therapy. So to figure out IF to get married. In those sessions you will bring up your irritation with him and the causes. It will be an opportunity to see if indeed he can and is willing to look into his behavior, see how some of it is understandably irritating to you, and see if once he sees it, he is putting the effort to change it.

See if he is really willing to examine issues honestly and make the changes for the purpose of a Win-Win marriage. Not just so to make the marriage happen (he Wins) and then it is his-way-or-the-highway (a Win-Lose marriage, lose for you).

What do you think?

anita