Hi Anyone,

The question that you may need to ask yourself is, can you love this person un-conditionally, minus a few of his imperfections? If you feel he needs to seek a therapist/counselor in regards to your relationship with him, are you able to be a part of his treatment/growth during this process. If the answer is truly NO and if you feel you are constantly going to find things wrong about him, that you really don’t like. Then the best and healthy thing to do is, walk away. If the answer is YES, than you have a winner and that means you do love him un-conditionally, knowing he can’t be the picture perfect image in your mind but accepting he may be willing to take the journey of you two evolving together. Regardless of your answer to these questions hun, the answer simply comes down to – Is he worth the spiritual journey and do I love him for not being completely perfect?

You don’t have to share that answer with me, as that is something you can keep to yourself if you wish.

I feel everyone does have a certain kind of bossiness to them about certain kinds of things. It depends what he is bossy about. If he is bossy at the workplace and not entirely bossy at home in his personal life and allows his wife to take over that roll in their private life. Then that balances pretty equally I feel. For me personally, at my professional job I am well liked, known as a hard/fast worker and I am kind, respectful and honest with people BUT on the other hand there are some people at my workplace who let their emotions get out of control because they are still young and we all take that into account. For me, in all aspects of my life – I feed off energy as I am highly sensitive to people’s energy. For example, if people are mean and I sense that they are in fact mean, judgmental or putting on a fake act, I’ll dis-engage and keep it to a quick “Hello and goodbye” (at times no words come out of my lips) if the opportunity presents itself. If I sense an energy of compassion and sincerity, then I will feed off that positive energy. So in the simplest terms of what I’m getting at is, I give back what you give in your energy towards me.

When I’m at work, I am highly motivated and focused on what needs to be accomplished. All of the other drama that presents itself, I don’t pay any attention to and don’t make eye contact. I’m just too focused on doing my job. Now, in my personal life for me, it’s very easy. I have to say that I do enjoy my lover being in control of things at home, while in the mean time I cook, clean and do laundry. I very much enjoy doing laundry lol. 🙂

So I gave you some great examples of how some people may be bossy about some things but not bossy about other things. As long as it balances out right and both lovers have an equal understanding of each other and how they operate. There shouldn’t be a problem. Most times problems present themselves drastically and dramatically when the person is a complete stranger to you and haven’t known them for a couple of years, to truly know their in’s and outs. So my advice to you is, since you’ve only knows him just a couple of months, you’ll have to go about getting to know about him and his in’s and outs, in a way you feel most comfortable.

I hope all this information helps. Let me know your thoughts and your opinion. It’s all about a line of in person communication with him. Remember – You are AWESOME and you got this!! 🙂

M.

Dear Anyone:

It doesn’t sound right to me and I agree with you: you should get to know a person before committing to a life with them. Thing is, what you already know about him doesn’t sound good to me… and to you, this is why you posted here.

You wrote: “A go getter. Likes me and wants me. Doesn’t give me time and space to think and answer.” Well, you are not something to GET. And you need the time and space to think and answer. It is not up to him to give you that time and space; it is yours to take, your right and it is reasonable that you do take your time and space.

“Since it has happened suddenly, I’m unable to accept that someone whom I knew as a colleague feels so much for me. Also, I want to take the next relation at a slow pace and understand the person well before committing.”- very reasonable on your part.

“The problem is – he has a bossy attitude…He brags about a lot of things about himself.”- if he was a child, that would be something for a parent to work with, to teach him that although he is valuable and special, other people are valuable and special too… and interactions with other people should be based on an I-Win:You-Win attitude and not on I-Win:You-Lose attitude which is what his bossiness may be about.

Please post again:

anita

Hi,
First of all, sorry to interrupt this thread with a side-issue.
I read it a while ago and since I don’t have internet in my house, i didn’t find the time to reply yet.
I’m afraid that I don’t know how to contribute to your question about this man – i’m struggling too much about it myself.

@ Elletinker, thank you for writing you story about your work. I am very, very slowly starting to see how sensitive I am and how much the energy of other people influences me. I am struggling a lot with that at work, i found it interesting and helpful to read your post. I’m thinking to start an other thread to write about this, maybe to ask you or other people for you experiences – when I have more time. Anyway, thank you for contributing and helping me a little bit along in learning to cope better with different people in the workplace.