Dear Galaxy:

In order to keep your spirits high, you need to either participate in changing or otherwise limiting/ eliminating any and all present relationships that bring you down. You can’t NOT bring your past issues into present relationships if the past … keeps going on and on.

When you are in a relationship with a family member where the price of that relationship is that you are submissive, non assertive, taking the blame for what is not your fault (or only partly your fault) then, that relationship is still in the present and it is not in the past.

You have to fee yourself and your life from relationships that hurt you, that handicap you, that keep you in a bad place in life.

If you choose to keep those relationships, and you keep paying the price, such as taking the blame… then you will do it in new relationships as well. You can’t operate in a sick way within the context of relationships with family members, and at the same time, operate in healthy ways in the context of new relationships.

As far as techniques: assert yourself anywhere and everywhere you are. All techniques of acting assertively are worthy techniques. There are books and probably online resources about assertiveness techniques.

Please do post again (and again) for as long as you’d like.

anita