Dear Amalia:

My understanding of your post is that Brian was in love with a fantasy girl called Amalia. Not the real person, you. He was in love with an Amalia he created in his own brain, an Amalia slightly connected to the real Amalia.

He acted with you in accordance with his fantasy, the chocolate, wiping your forehead, holding your hand with a trembling hand. Only he was doing these things to Fantasy-Amalia. I think you felt weird because you felt that it was not YOU that he was in love with.

In his fantasy Amalia was a virgin. In his fantasy Amalia was in love with him too. In his fantasy you were going to get married and he introduced you immediately to his parents via a photo. In his fantasy you didn’t feel weird about your actual meeting because he already met you in person- in his imagination- many times before and he already gave you the chocolate and wiped your forehead and held your hand… and you were fine with it all, in his fantasy. In his fantasy, you responded well to these gestures.

When you introduced him to reality, to the real Amalia who is not a virgin and who was not there in real life before and did not spend any real time with him before, in person- then you broke his fantasy. Like something made of glass it fell to the floor and shattered.

You wrote that now you are in love with him. I think you are in love with the idea that someone loves you as much as he loved you…. only it wasn’t you that he loved. It was a fantasy. Only a fantasy in his mind.

What do you think?

anita