missjennacole,

Every man I’ve ever dated has been totally blind-sighted.

Have you ever dated a friend? It just makes me curious as to the men always being completely taken by surprise. Are these men/ women ever been close to you before? A relationship can be any length of time, how long does it take before you generally start to bore? on average. Because i wonder, when you start to get bored, could be a sign that your getting ‘too interested’ or they are getting too interested in you. They personal things you wouldn’t share with others. If this is the case, then i think it’s less about being in relationship with someone who likes chit chats and annoys you. It could simply be you don’t want to share who you are inside to others. You like a bit of mystery? I’m just trying to wrap my head around someone who is successful at catching the fish, but always releasing them back into the wild. I mean it happens, man there are so many movies about it. But this is real life 🙂

Being an only child can have certain effects on one’s life. For instance, if you were the center of attention as a child, then not much (IMO) changes over time. This makes sense, there was only one of you 😉 But it does bring the question of your limited attention span to others. It’s like once you have received enough attention you move on. It could be symbolic of your need to be appreciated by others, but not judged. We always judge people, it’s a fact that makes most uncomfortable. But this is how we end up with friends, partners etc. By passing judgment on others we either trust them or don’t. It’s just a thought, and i think i’m way off.

I resent having to share my life with anyone.

Maybe it’s that you are just not ready. Maybe you still in the prime of your life and want to play around, it’s more that the relationship side accidentally becomes attached. Almost like a ‘tag along’. So it truly depends on whether you want to be in a relationship right now. Do you? You might find that the timing is not right, hence why you only want ‘crushes’ or partners for a short time. You are filling a temporary void until you move on. But eventually you will want to settle down (permanently fill that void), it’s just not now. You feel an attachment to your previous ex, as an exercise put his name in the middle of a piece of paper and write down the things that make him/ her standout from the rest. What made him more than the others? Hopefully you might be able to see a difference in your previous patterns. Finally, when in a relationship certain sacrifices and sharing occurs (although you state you haven’t had issues sharing), but material possessions is one thing, it’s different when it’s yourself (your emotions, will, beliefs, things that make you who you are). If you aren’t prepared to share part of your life with another, than what’s the point? You wouldn’t be in a relationship, it would be two people living together without really knowing each other until it becomes awkward and moving on as a result.

But then again, and this is my second major point, you haven’t met the right one. I mean you have been with many people and in various relationships, i figure there are still a couple million people out there….you only have to find one 🙂 that’s the good news! You sort of have found someone who is your ex, so maybe the next time will be better. You could just have a different procedure for finding a decent mate, that’s all.

What do think? Again, there is nothing wrong with you…unless you’re doing a ‘species’ on everyone! 😉 I always tell people, that ‘normal’ is socially constructed, that what we think is normal, may be only within our own community, within our own household..even our own mind. So don’t measure yourself to others who just meet one person and settle down, have kids etc. ‘Different’ is normal.

Sincerely,
Matty