Dear John_1:

This question, to dig into the old relationship (the past with her), or start a new relationship without reviewing the past- that would be an excellent question to ask her. It is not about asking her, getting an answer and obeying the answer. It is about opening a topic for discussion, back and forth. She says something, you think about it, evaluate it, say something on the matter, then she does and so forth. The answer is not necessarily going to appear in one conversation.

Even if you agree to an answer, any one of you can change your mind. It may appear at first that there is no need to review the past and you are both, let’s say, excited about starting something new, right this time for both of you, but as time goes on, things come up… and it seems to any one of you, that the past is still here, so then, you can talk about it again and decide to dig into the past so to indeed, start something new.

Often it is through the digging into the past, that a truly new, free-from-the-past relationship can begin.

anita