Dear Med:

I have no doubt that your communication with her can be improved: you stated that you tend to block your emotions when talking to her so that you don’t “do any reaction that could be interpreted else way.” I don’t know what you mean by it, except that your communication with her is not effective this way.

On the other hand, regardless of the verbal communication between the two of you, your trust in her, understandably, has been broken by her doing, her choosing. She seems to be impulsive, making her choices (hooking up that one time, going to the club after promising not to) quickly, without much thought, as a quick reaction to pressure from others or the pressure from any distress she is feeling at this or that moment.

You can’t reasonably trust a very impulsive person, as she appears to be. It will not be sensible to trust her because you cannot eliminate future pressures on her: pressures of others and pressures within her. Someone will pressure her again to go clubbing … And she will again feel distress, loneliness, whatever it is and feel pressured, from within herself, to relieve the pressure by bringing about a hook up or something like that.

Therefore, it is probably… for your own best interest to end the relationship with her. Let me know if there is a reason why you think you cannot form a relationship next with a non- impulsive woman…?

anita