Dear Ravi:

I concur with Jerry’s comments as you quoted them. Her thinking clear and correct. The abusive expressions of your anger toward Jerry were opposite to acts of love, and the poems you later posted do not neutralize those acts of hate (intense anger, words/ acts meant to hurt).

What to do?

1. Understand that you are not responsible for the creation of your rage and the urge to relieve yourself of it in the ways you have. Also understand that you are now responsible to end these ways of expressing your anger… because nobody will do it for you, and nobody can.

2.Assert yourself with the people who are presently in your life, especially with your parents and grandmother. Because they are responsible for the creation of this problem (from which you suffer, as well as Jerry), asserting yourself with them is more important than you asserting yourself with anyone else. In fact, if you can’t assert yourself with them, if you are passive and quiet with them, stewing inside with anger, you … should move out.

3. Keep a journal, perhaps, of your healing journey from being the abusively angry person to being the assertive, none abusive person you are becoming. Date each entry, keep it relatively short. After a month, two months, as long as it takes.. send Jerry that journal, so she can see the real over-time work you are doing in this pursuit, tangible steps you take (#2) instead of mere promises.

What do you think?

anita