Dear Ravi:

Good work on your part, communicating with your parents. The fact that they told you that one of your teachers criticized them is encouraging to me: the fact that they took in the criticism and are willing to evaluate their behavior toward you. Keep an ongoing communication with them, reminding them what they said themselves (when they forget..)

Also, assert yourself with your grandmother. If your parents repeat that you should be quiet and just let her say or do whatever she wants, let them know that for your own good, for your own well being, you have to assert yourself with her too. And if the grandmother complains to your parents about your (respectful but strong) assertiveness, tell your parents they will have to choose between your well being and your grandmother’s discomfort (about you doing what promotes your well being). Do they want your mental well being sacrificed so to please your grandmother (who is not going to be sufficiently pleased no matter what you or anyone else does)?

I think Jerry’s mental state as expressed in what she communicated to you, is pretty good. As I wrote, she sees clearly what is going on. She knows what love is and what it is not. So, you didn’t take that away from her by your behavior (relief!)

As you keep the journal, make it honest, not directed at influencing Jerry when she reads it, but as an honest record of what you do… including the conversation with your parents, that you wrote about in your last post: that should definitely be in the journal.

anita