Dear Ravi:

It just occurred to me and i wanted to make the point to you about Will Power: how strongly you decided in the past to no longer explode in anger abusively but failed to do so…again and again you re-instated your Will Power, restated your strong decision and intent to not explode abusively in anger and failed…

The anger in you, that intense anger has been there in you for a long time (physically it means there are strong connections in between the nerve cells of your brain leading to this explosive behavior). This intense anger, rage, is very powerful. Again and again, it proved to be more powerful than your Will Power, that is the power of your decision making, your resolution.

It is like you are facing a hungry powerful lion. And each time, you are fighting it with your bare hands, no weapons. And each time (in this example) the lion wins and eats you. Somehow (in this example) you are resurrected, and facing the same lion. Again, you are fighting it with your bare hands, no weapons and again, it wins and you are eaten alive.

At one point, you figure: I am not powerful enough to win a fight with this lion. The lion is more powerful than me, than my bare arms. And you notice there is a weapon you can use, a spear. The lion is in front of you, threatening to consume you. You take the spear and send it through the lion’s heart. The lion dies and you live.

At one point, Ravi, you figure: my Will Power, the power of my decision making is not strong enough to fight this explosively abusive anger. Every time I fought the rage with my will power, I lost. Maybe I should use a weapon.

The weapon is the ongoing, daily practice of you being assertive with everyone in your life, parents, grandmother and everyone else. That is the weapon.

Will Power is powerful enough against certain things: let’s say you don’t feel like studying anymore, but you have a big test the next day, so you use your will power (after a stretching break) to study more. In this example your will power was powerful enough because the power of your tiredness was not that powerful.

But as far as your explosive anger, it has proven time and time again, to be more powerful than your Will Power alone.

So the work in front of you is the use of the weapon, the ongoing assertiveness.

Will be away from the computer for hours.

Take care:
anita