Jerry,

Yes, fantastic! But don’t let it go to your head. 🙂 Buddha said that sense pleasures are laced with suffering, such as craving. When we try to get our happiness from others, there is a dissatisfaction that arises with it. After all, people aren’t always in a place to help us become happy, so when we are in need and they are unavailable we become resentful, seeing them as a miser withholding our happiness.

Instead we can cultivate a sense of unconditioned happiness. Through mindful practices such as prayer and meditation, we can tap into a satisfying joy that needs no sense conditions for its arrival. Said differently, when we can concentrate our mind, we can also satisfy our need to feel good without pretty smiles, tasty food, big paychecks and so on. Then, we can see the difference between loneliness and aloneness.

It is a small difference, but all the difference. When we are lonely, we seek an “other” to help us feel stable and content. When we are alone, we recognize that we are the light in this world, and by cultivating a self-nourished happiness, there is no need for “other”. Then, when we connect with others, it is because of an inner bounty which asks nothing in return.

From there choosing and finding a partner is very simple. “Do we dance to a similar or complimentary song?” Not “is she __________ enough to satisfy me?”

With warmth,
Matt