PryingMimi,

Sometimes there are those among us who are born with a strong empathy. From your words, it sounds like you see and feel a lot of information and are unsure what to do about it. Said differently, when people talk to you, there is so much information coming in that your mind becomes overloaded and you try to figure out what to do with the pieces. Does that sound right?

Unfortunately, for right now, patience is the key. You’re still developing your frontal cortex (into your mid-twenties) which will help you put it all together. For now, take some time to learn about who you are. You have a special gift, and it is through looking inward at what your heart tells you that you will find your stride.

We don’t really need to worry about “sorting it all out” as though we have to put everything in a category in our mind. Instead, there is a different strategy.

We can consider our body like a house, and the world around us like wind blowing at the house. When the wind gets really strong (lots of data coming at us) we try to shut the front door to stop the pressure from building in our mind. Said differently, we try to ignore or parse what we see, hear, feel. What happens is we can for a little while, and then we lose strength and the door flies open and we are knocked around.

Instead, we learn to keep the back door open which lets the wind passes right through. This is done by just noticing what is there, without trying to judge or categorize the sense data. Said differently, we can say “what is really here now? breathe it in, breathe it out.” Then the moment is passes and we are ready for the next.

As you find your stride over the next few years, I have every confidence you will overcome your social difficulties. Just take some time to play and dance and sing whatever songs make your heart feel warm and strong. As you get to know yourself, people will want to be your friend because you will have so much to share and such an empathic nature.

With warmth,
Matt

PS: Yes, you’re weird. Thank goodness!