Crissy, you have every right to feel the way you do, considering your history. Anyone who tells you to get over is being insensitive at best. It was a long process that created some of the issues, and it is going to be a long way back from there, but there is an abundance of happiness waiting for you along every step of that journey. I wish i could provide a cure all statement or piece of advice, but for some of those deeper seated issues, it sounds like you are a great candidate for counseling. We can only get so far by ourselves, and good counselor can help you navigate your own thoughts and help you solve some of those inner issues.

What you need to do is to break out of your state of mind you are in. Understand something, the way we feel is just a “state”. Happiness is a mindset, so is depression. If you have no control over your thought flow and your feelings about yourself, you are going to continue a downward spiral and live inside of that depressed world. You have to take control of your thoughts again. There are a number of ways to go about this, but meditation is the most effective way. If meditation isn’t for you, I recommend using other methods to get yourself shook out of the state of mind you have yourself in. The bottom line is you need to break free from the negative cycle you are in. The best way I have found to change my mental state and by using my body. When I am depressed or anxious, I go get a hard workout in and somehow it breaks the cycle. As soon as you notice the cycle starting, you need to shake out of it. Emotions can also be a very powerful tool to change your state. This is going to sound strange, but people do it unknowingly all of the time. The next time you start feeling depressed, channel your depressive energy into anger, or another powerful emotion. I’m not saying anger is healthier, but I guarantee you will be able to change your feelings from depressed to angry if you focus hard enough. This will mentally show you that you control your mental state. Emotions can be extremely useful when you need to break a certain mental state, so experiment with that as well. The take home message here is that no matter how you feel, remember that ultimately, it is a choice. What you focus on is what you will feel, so if you don’t like it, don’t let yourself focus on those negative things. Use meditation, exercise, and other emotions to prevent yourself from dwelling in negative thoughts. Sorry this isn’t very organized, I just wanted to share what has worked for me when I get myself in a rut like you are in. Experiment with some of these ideas, you will be amazed at how pliable the mind is. If you need some help learning a few simple meditations, check out my blog I write about all kinds of topics related to what I just mentioned. Things will get better, i promise you, but you need to start putting in the effort to better yourself, wanting to feel better isn’t enough, personal development is an active thing!

Dave
http://personal-growth-project.com