Chloe,
I would just like to say that “suffering” is “suffering”. The magnitude of source of the suffering – does not make anyone’s experience less, or more valuable because the issue is somewhat not seen as “as traumatic”. You are young and confusion and not being able to sort out your feelings and desires is your suffering at this time in your life. It serves a purpose, just go with it. This is one way you will come to know yourself.
There can be no healing in judgment.
You are perfect the way you are – and where you are – right now!
It might help to journal your feelings. I always find that I have all the information inside me and when I sit down and just write, the answers come eventually. I hope that helps.
Talking to your parents can be helpful and I encourage you to discuss your feelings with someone you feel comfortable. If you ever feel like your life is hopeless, please reach out to anyone around you for help.
Blessings
Pat