Hello, I think it is so wonderful you have discovered meditation and feel calmer as a result and as a writer, I agree it so helps to write stuff down. I feel strongly that since you already know you are responsible for yourself and your emotions and are taking steps towards self-awareness, you will not follow in your parents footsteps. It is unfortunate that they are using you to vent about their problems, but you have the ability to try and stop this. You are already very clear about your own feelings, so why not say them? Since your parents seem to have no boundaries and you have not yet developed your own, why not put some in place now? It is as simple as saying “I love you and I know you are a great person, but I feel nervous and sad when you xxxxxx. Please respect my feelings and don’t xxxxxx with me anymore. Honestly I feel anxiety and just want to run away when you say negative and mean things to me about mom/dad.” There is a great assertiveness tool that I learned years ago, which so helped me with setting boundaries, called “broken record” which means you say what you feel like one of the above sentences, and when the other person comes back with a “yes, but I really need to share this with you” You reply, I understand, and repeat your original statement…eventually they get the message. You keep on reinforcing the boundary by repeating what you want…

I truly hope this helps.

Love and peace,

Marilyn