Hi Deborah @debs78

I am glad that some of my suggestions resonated with your being. I had to meditate a little on what you wrote in your last post.

When you say that you didn’t grieve when grandma passed away suddenly, is that in a good way or sad way ? Do you think your heart was crying and still is but your logic mind prevents you from going through the grieving process ? And the prolonged sickness, which led to current phobias suggest that you had a conflict between your inner and outer being for quite sometime over something. Can you make sense of this ? Are you trying to be someone whom you are not ? Are you constantly killing your desires and have been doing it for sometime ? Either way, I can assure you that your grandma is around and watching over you and your loved ones. I think she wants you to be happy and become stronger and enjoy life. She is happy in her own existence and wishes the same for you. I have offered prayers for her on your behalf 🙂

If the root chakra you tube meditation resonates with you then can you also try the heart chakra one (4th). Fill yourself with heaps of love and be in love with yourself. There is no one more special than Deborah in this world as you are one and only one.

May you find what your heart is seeking and emerge stronger and brighter each day 🙂 love to your beautiful kids.

Jasmine