To put it quite bluntly the bond between myself and my parents became nothing but an association of happening to bump into one another by accident. Poor health conditions for both of my parents, which would later force them into assisted living by their own choice. Fractic phone calls and broken lines of communication became a bridge for me to connect with them after so long of a period. I took that path across the bridge.
Basically they would give me the same excuses that I could not take to heart any longer, so it was me who would make the effort to iron out as best as I could, our many differences. Time was running out like the sand in an hourglass, so this was most difficult, but I had to erase all regrets before life would cease to be.
I really do not think they understood my situation as a whole but for me it did not matter. Life for them was slipping away but I was looking forward to the days ahead. So with a face soaked with tears, I openly offered to them the gift of my forgiveness holding nothing back. I would give them a one-sided hug and as I walked out of their room, a heavy load of guilt and remorse rolled off my back.
Once I found forgiveness for myself which was not easy; I learned how to forgive others as well.
When you forgive, you discard or dispose of what you carried with you. In doing so there is a void, a gapping hole or a dark abyss which will not remain empty, it will fill up with something good or something bad. I did not always choose to fill up my life with goodness and I had to start all over again. Today without any qualms I can willing fill my empty pockets inside with joy, love and goodness. Each and everyday I must realign myself and be thankful for God’s love and others all around me.