When I read your post it felt like reading my own story. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for a little over a year and despite the fact that I love him I am not in love with him. I have driven myself crazy with why this is….and since I have discovered that what makes sense in the mind (and sometimes even the heart) when it comes to love can not be explained or controlled. Just like in your relationship all those little things, like meeting friends, family and being part of each others lives are perfect and very crucial for both of us. It’s what makes the relationship work so well. But somewhere deep down I realize that those small and big differences in opinion are just as important and will eventually break us. In the end NO matter how much you love each other…..LOVE is not enough to make a relationship successful, happy and fulfilling. Usually its a combination of qualities we consider crucial and unfortunately it differs for each person.

I have no answer of whether you should stay in the relationship or keep trying. But what I can tell you is that I have been trying for several months and my feelings remain exactly the same. However much you care, respect or are in awe of each other that spark/flame/tingle of being in love will always be missing. We also faced a period of cold war fighting and eventually had to talk about it. I have been blessed enough to tell my partner how I feel and we have tried to make it work despite my “missing” feelings. We also REALLY want us to work.

But the truth is its been a constant and huge sacrifice on my part as I know I will never be in love with him the way he deserves. So often I have felt I have a soul connection with this man….that deep understanding he has of your “layers” as you call them. But is it truly enough to satisfy me for the rest of your life? All the fighting and uncertainty you will always carry in that relationship. Its just all sooooo complicated. We sometimes forget that being in love is just as important as loving that person. Its was makes you wanna wake up next to them, share every story, celebrate every success. For me and my needs I believe that if the spark is missing I will never be 100% happy or satisfied even if he puts out the trash every day and is amazing to my family. My best advice to you is; figure out what qualities of the relationship it is you can’t live without and see how that aligns with what he needs. Because only when those qualities align do we find ourselves in truly happy relationships.

Don’t be afraid to leave the comfort zone of a happy relationship if you feel something is missing, rather trust yourself to know what’s right for you. I wish you the best of luck and remember to be kind with yourself and your partner.