Laleh,
I experienced the same almost a year ago. Still working on letting go (I know, its crazy, almost a year and I still feel pain at times, though we were involved just 3 months).
One thing I want to tell you-its not about you. You have nothing to do with the guys decision to leave in such way as vanishing, which, the way I see it, is quite disrespectful, especially when people are involved intimately, not just meeting for a drink once in a while, as another person is left to wonder for some time what happened, where did he/she went wrong, yada yada, and sort of appear in the position of the stalker,feeling clingy and needy, as they try to contact the vanisher, until they finally get the “message” (sooner or later).
Its not about your worth (I know you have these thoughts like “am I not good enough to receive a decent explanation and amicable goodbye?”)
Its all about his character.
Some men say its how he protects your feelings. In my opinion, its how he protects himself from the necessity to step up and be direct that he isn’t able to deliver what you want (a relationship). In other words-protects his cowardice a**, cause he doesn’t have to see you getting upset, doesn’t have to explain things and etc. And its so easy, as it was an LDR, as you won’t come to his home to get closure!
So you’re doing the right thing as you don’t text him. You’d only set yourself up for more pain and sadness if you did, as he wouldn’t answer most likely. I texted the guy who vanished on me, after 2 months after he did this just to tell him the way I felt, and its not that I regret doing this, yet that didn’t help me at all. I just realized I’m not getting over a man who actually didn’t care enough and I’m telling him this (a huuuge ego massage.his ego,not mine). Cause lets be honest-when a man cares, he doesn’t just cut things off.
In your case that “I want to take things slow/ I don’t know where my head is” thing was a red flag. No one says these things when everything goes naturally.
And its not about mans age when he vanishes – as I said before, its about his character (the guy who vanished on me was 34).
So you can only get closure by yourself, accepting that it is over. Though you think he might come back at some point, I strongly suggest to consider, if he is worthy of another chance if he actually re-appears. I mean, he had a chance, he blew it and demonstrated the tendency to run away when facing the necessity to do something inconvenient for him. Do you really really want a man like that?