I am rereading your post again rbc, and trying to figure out and understand him, but the fact is that i have been doing that for couple of months now, and no matter how much I KNOW it’s all a guess. Online was an online site that I knew he went to meet people, and he has been on it pretty much everyday, so I stopped checking (and FYI he was checking me out few times as well ) There were other ways that I could see if he is ok or no, and he’s been fine as far as I can tell. to answer to your questions by the way We dated for couple of months, but it was weird, because felt like we’ve been dating for a year, we were so much alike and so familiar with each other’s routine, it felt like we were an old couple. We were perfect I should say. And he knew it. he couldn’t wait to text me when I left him, he was always eager to see me, and he was treating me like a princess. these memories make it very hard. And as soon as I feel like am making progress, I wake up in the morning like today having to dreamt about him all night. I know this sounds like a teeager, but am a 34 yr old woman, having to gotten hurt a lot in my life, and dated lot of idiots, and this one felt different, I really felt like he might be the one I’e been looking for. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and after dating on and off, I think I am finally ready to be in a serious relationship and I can tell who is playing who is not on the first date. Anyways, I feel really powerless in this situation, because I hate it when someone misunderstands me, to answer to you about understanding why he did this; I feel like those few days that i went through a dramatic experience at the border and my plans falling apart, I was a bit vurlanble, and of course I sent couple of message to him as I said, which was more than usual, so I feel that he thought I am getting attached, and I am not gonna be in NYC soon anymore, so what is the point. I don’t low, the point is , you can think whatever you want, but these are all guesses, and I have to live with these for the rest of my life. If he doesnt come back. I think the reason I can’t message him and something is holding me back is that I feel like he might come back later on. I do’t know really, I dont even know why I can’t send him a message. I am not clear at all why I feel this way and how this whole thing is going to turn out. All I want is not to remember him anymore and feel better and get closure and move on. I need to be in power again, I feel hopeless. and when I do feel powerful I want to send him an angry message and tell him off. which goes away after few minutes.
Anyways,
Thanks again,
feedbacks appreciated, and I will let you know about my progress
love
danubelle