Hi Anne, so here is what I came up with answering the questions..

Statement: I need him to make me happy and make me feel like a worthwhile human being
1. Is it true? Unfortunately yes.
2. Can you absolutely know it’s true? Yes.
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? I get depressed when he’s not around. I don’t feel good about myself. I let that thought torment me so badly that I cannot function properly and let it affect school.
4. Who would you be without that thought? Without that thought, I would be my old self before the relationship. I would be confident and happy, sweet and loving towards everyone. I would have a high self-esteem and do well in school.

Turnaround statement: I only need myself to make me happy and make myself feel like a worthwhile human being.
Ex 1: What he cannot have power over my emotions unless I ALLOW him to. I am in control of my own feelings.

To be honest, I’m still struggling with finding examples on how the turnaround statement is true. But it’s a process I guess. Answering these does open my eyes to why I feel the way I do, and why I don’t need to feel them anymore.

Sapnegi, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through the same thing, it’s the most horrible feeling ever. Your ex is just like mines, each time I contact him, he sounds colder, a complete opposite from the guy he was when we were together. It breaks my heart so bad yesterday after my phone call with him that I cried. And he said of course he loved because you’re HOT? What a freaking jerk. I dated mines for 2 and a half years, but 7 months in, he made a post on his blog (that he wasn’t aware that I knew of) saying “You’re just a pretty face and a good fuck.” I knew he was a virgin before me and he wasn’t cheating so it really broke my heart seeing that.. I should have took that as a big red flag instead of working it out with him.

I felt so good yesterday, and was looking forward to coming back to this forum and express how much better I am than yesterday morning, but unfortunately I can’t..
Like always, I woke up with him as my first thought. What’s worse? I had a dream about him last night, we were getting “intimate”. Ugh.

But I fought that urge to check on his social networks today because I’ve learned that doing so will only increase my urge to contact him. Or usually, it would make me even angrier that he is unaffected by what is going on as he continue to post pics and try to impress girls on there.

I am getting tired of this cycle but there’s not much else I can do but to just go through with it, and be strong enough to contact him. I know anger is not healthy but I find that when I talk about why he is not compatible with me with my family, the anger makes me feel better for the day.

If any of you would like to have someone to just vent to throughout the day when you feel like no one is listening, feel free to email me leina.n72@gmail.com, I’m usually on my phone.

For now I am going to work on bettering myself everyday, and I look forward to the day where I get over this and be able to post on here not as a dumpee with a broken heart, but someone who has learned from it and can help others through it.