Hi Jenni,
There is much in your post.

There is much love between you, and that is always a good place to start.

There can be patterns of caring behaviors that build that place of love between you. But your heart is breaking, and the hurt is telling you something too. Opening up to this man again was a big risk, and it is hard to know what to do now.

You deserve to be loved and cherished, but the hurt you feel is very real. Stay in your truth and let you heart guide you (even if it hurts.)

I will offer prayers for your and your friend today. Jerry