Hi Nikki,

I completely understand what you’re going through. This was kind of my plight a week ago. I have lost hope to find another person for my life, but I have accepted that I don’t need to be thinking and worrying about it right now. Life goes on. Day before yesterday I was stuck with many negative thoughts in the bed while waking up; losing time and not realizing it. Then I shook myself and got up; engaged myself in household chores, watching tv, etc. I started feeling better.

My friend, it’s not easy to go through fights, specially when it turns physical (I had been through it and the worst part I still share the same neighbors who had seen it all).

I believe, it’s always better to part ways when we are not sure if we want to go ahead with a person (in other words, if you’re not happy with your decision, you would never be able to keep him happy). As an Indian, I can only say that you saved yourself from the mess that could come after marriage (where you are not just married to the guy, but the family). Stop feeling guilty, stop being harsh on yourself. And in his and your better interests, cease all the contacts, if any, with him; more because he is starting a new life now. I would say to you ‘MOVE ON’. It’s easier said than done. But you have gathered the courage and will to make your life better. You can do it. Go easy with yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Love yourself. Because you’re an amazing person at heart. Make peace with your past.

Get REAL
R: Realise that you have been through hurtful situations. Realize the reality.
E: Engage yourself in Positive thinking. Do things that make you happy.
A: Accept the fact that you’re not perfect. Don’t compare yourself to others.
L: Love yourself unconditionally. For you have a beautiful heart and you’re unique.

Hope it helps!

Lots of positivity and courage to you:-)