I’ve never posted here before but I signed up today to give you my .02.

I really liked what was said between the soulmates vs. lifemates. How lucky are we when we get to marry a soulmate and a lifemate.

I also liked how a lot of you were advocating for marriage, marriage is a big deal and something to be taken very seriously.

Kristy, I am concerned though that your husband rolls his eyes at you. This sounds like a small thing to most people, but my training in psychology and my research on marriages and signs of divorce have taught me that eye rolls are a sign of disrespect and disdain.

My last boyfriend was a very good provider, but I was missing the extra care and love I wanted to have in my life. He took care of me, but was emotionally distant and cold. It also sounds like perhaps your husband is being some sort of care provider for a family member–I am too a care provider right now and that’s a difficult process. If your husband hasn’t always been cold and distant, this is something to maybe give him time to adjust to, but if he’s always been a little distant or unemotional, and you’ve just realized it, it’s a different story.

It’s amazing to feel connected to someone, especially from your past. I tried a go at a relationship with someone that I thought was the love of my life, and when the relationship actually happened, it exploded into cosmic disaster particles and I really wasn’t as attracted to him physically as I thought when we actually had an opportunity to be together. This was incredibly surprising to me.

I’m not advocating one thing or another, but just that I agree with lifemates and soulmates idea, at least I like the sound of it. I think you are doing the right thing by cutting off communication with this other person while you are married–so if you decide to leave the marriage you are doing it for you and not because you might have something else good in the future.

If you aren’t happy, that’s reason enough. You don’t have to have another person to go to.

I hope that either you and your husband are able to meet each others needs or that you find happiness if you leave your marriage. Maybe this relationship will work out later but I admire you stepping back from it. If it’s meant to be taking time to honor your husband and current commitments won’t take away.

Sidenote: the man I thought was the love of my life is now back in my hometown and available in a way he wasn’t before. I have moved on and found someone that makes me incredibly happy–my current partner makes me feel like he’s a soulmate and a lifemate.

So my bossy .02 is just do what is best for you and honor your husband in the process. It’ll all work out how it’s supposed to when things are done in love.