I agree with Simon. It’s not a question of either or, but rather how do you do learn to do both and know when to do which one.

I myself have been described as “Mr. Fix It” who always wants to jump into help others solve their problems. It’s the only model of emotional support I know, but I’m appreciating and recognizing when others demonstrate a different way of providing support by simply “being there”. I’m learning to appreciate that kind of support and would like to incorporate more that into my way of being.

I don’t mean to bring a religious spin to this, but I think these sentiments are echoed in the Serenity Prayer.

Accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Find courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and have the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.