Rebecca,

You created a lie to be ‘seen’ and are now suffering the mental and spiritual consequences because of it. The beautiful thing about life, however, is that we will always possess the power to redeem ourselves. The most important thing when making mistakes is to recognize them and act accordingly as to bring harmony back into our lives. Perhaps making a list of all that you feel is damaged in and around you may help. Take turns working on these items one at a time (if you’re unsure) and also slowly. As I often tell other members, we do not have all the answers nor will we ever so do not feel that you will be able to fix anything within a short period of time. Like all things that we love and care for, we nurture on a long term basis and so adopt this mentality when working on your list. Also, the speed of your mending will depend on many (uncontrollable) factors. Accepting this will greatly help you.

As far as trusting people go, I personally believe you are not entirely incorrect. I am a Taoist and fully understand that both good and bad (or less-good, as I prefer) people exist. What helps is knowing that these beings are exactly as I am: imperfect, all-unknowing and tending to their own journeys. With this train of thought, or even truth, it becomes easier to communicate as we share a commonality. This may also help you stop your trend of criticizing others.

Lastly, know that it is perfectly fine to take it easy. You are not in a competition or a race. If you live your life for you, and no one else, you will find a lot of beautiful things will materialize.

Warm Regards,

Al