Hi MP,

From what I read it sounds like you love her but you’re not in love with her. I’ve been in your exact position before. You feel terrible but don’t want to lose them or hurt them. Like a band aid rip it off. Sounds harsh but I’ve learned that when its meant to be its meant to be. When you love someone you just know. I’ve dated a lot of people and have been rejected a lot. It used to hurt but I realized that you know when someone loves you.

The simplest answer is often the most correct. It will suck to be without her but when you meet the person you’re meant to be with you will just know and be happy you didn’t settle.

I also am dubious of people who want to be with another person that clearly doesn’t feel the same way. Doesn’t sound like this person has very high self esteem. I know this because I’ve been there too. It might make sense on paper but if you don’t feel it in your gut don’t bother.

I’ve been with someone who I “loved” dearly but wasn’t in love with him. I was miserable everyday kept finding little things about him I hated and would beat myself up for it. I also knew if I ended the relationship he would be devastated. But I had to and now he’s with someone who makes him happy and is doing much better in life. Love isn’t all good times but I feel like you know when you’re in love and don’t need to convince yourself.

Hope that helped, you are not a bad person. It’s a life lesson

I also agree 100% with Buddhist wife <— gives the best advice