I’ve read your post a few times and I find it hard to work out from what you have written, what it is you genuinely feel.

I wonder what it is that you expect from love and what you think love is. You describe yourself as being ‘attached emotionally’. Is that love to you or not? Only you can work that out for you.

I think you have to let go of your feelings of guilt towards her. You both entered the relationship on equal terms and we all know that we are at risk of being hurt when we start dating. She knew this too.

Getting into a relationship with someone doesn’t make you a bad person. Breaking up with someone because you are no longer happy doesn’t make you a bad person. Nearly everyone does one or the other at some point in their lives, often several times. It’s just life.

I think it would be very unwise to make your decision from a position of guilt. I think it would be best if you put that feeling aside.

I also think it would be wrong to make the decision through a lens of ‘what if nothing better comes along’.

You clearly see the need to make a decision about this reasonably quickly and you are correct. I think it is important, especially for her, that you are clear. If you do decide there is no future in the relationship you need to be definitive with her. Tell her you like her as a person but that it’s over. She must not wait for you and you will never marry her. I think, if you decide to break up, it would also be wise to take a break from communicating with each other for a good few months. I think trying to salvage a friendship out of this will be very confusing for you both and will send mixed messages to her.

You need to decide if you really love her. Ask yourself what it is about your relationship that makes you fear that you might be settling? Is it because you have unrealistic notions of what a relationship is? Do you expect fireworks every time you see her? Do you expect too much in the looks department?

Or are your reasons for feeling you may be settling reasonable? There is such a thing as a good match at the wrong time. It may be that you want to date more women before you settle down. It might be that your attitudes to life, marriage and religion are incompatible which would make it unwise for you to commit to each other. It might be she wants to live in Korea and you want to go to California. It might be that there is just a feeling in your gut that tells you committing would be wrong.

I hope this has helped and I hope that you find a solution.