Paul, 40 years is a lifetime to be with someone as a mate. I invite you to give yourself time to mourn rather than project out to the future with worry. I know, easy to say and hard to do. Stay in the Present Moment with your grief. Fear for the future takes you out of what is going on now.

I wish you healing. Nurture yourself and allow yourself time and space to grieve. Engage in activities that enable you to be with the healing.

Metta,
Mark