JAC,
Thank you so much for your responce, I have to say I have been reading and getting replays for couple of months now, and I really connected with what you said, and I hope I can talk to you more about this. All the questions you asked about NYC and being ready and material things to get me ready for it, the answer is no, that is why right now it seems impossible, other than the signs. That is why I really feel hopeless, I have been applying for jobs, and etc. but I do not have the money or the job offer etc. But I know if something is meant to be, in some weird way things happen, I have had that happen to me in the past, so I don’t know how to relate this to that.. The things you said about the car and the signs I totally relate to, and you also mentioned my guy issue, and yes, I think it was bad timing with us, I really don’t know, but I agree with you, if we are meant to cross paths again at the right time we will, so I am right now, just trying to deal with the memory of good times and just missing him, that’s all. But i have made peace with it. Health wise and stuff I am ok, I am working out, and meditating, and reading and writing 247, and trying to find my path, but basically seems like NOTHING is happening. Sometime things are on standstill and I feel such an urge to find a job since the money is tight. I was quite sure about NYC I mean I still am, but I am starting to thik maybe still it’s not the right timing, I am not sure, because I just feel hopeless in it. I have handed it to universe and basically surendeded my desires to him, because at this point I have no idea what else to do. I do not want to take another wrong step, I just want to do whatever is in alignment with my plan.
I totally agree with you that we don’t understand the reason behind things and the reality of things in present and depends on time. I was praying the other night that please god take the memory of this guy our of my heart because I don’t want to remember and i don’t wanna miss it and be hurt by it anymore, and do something that I would feel better.. The next morning I got a message from a different guy that i had dated years ago, that kinda ended the same way( much shorter and less serious but I was less mature back then and more angry) And the message just all of a sudden showed me how I had made up a story in my head about this guy because I had a certain expectation.. And now seemed silly, he was actually not a bad guy quite nice, and didn’t do anything wrong, I just wanted something different, and this made me feel so much better, as you said, that I will see the reason and the real story about my current guy later on maybe.
I feel like at this point, certain things are clear to me that I want and need and my heart belongs to, but the HOW and the WHAT TO DO is not.. I agree that I have be alert for signals, and i have been actually writing down coincidences and being aware all the time, but stil notthing quite clear, just little things that you are not sure is it really a sign or am I trying to make it a sign, you know what I mean?
Hope I can learn more from you, I really enjoyed your deep analyzing.
Love
Danubelle
http://www.danubelle.com