Hi E.

I’m sorry to hear you are experiencing some pain right now. Your words display some hope. I would like to draw your attention to a few snippets of what you wrote:

“It’s been almost twenty days since he broke up with me and his words still haunt me”

Try giving time a chance. What will another 20 days passing look like? Things never stay constant. They soon change, shift and morph. Get curious about what this could take shape as. Maybe another 20 days may give you some of the answers you want. Be patient, however difficult.

“Just when it seems like I’m getting through processing my emotions I relapse.”

What does relapse look like to you? Relapse into what? You are clearly in a difficult state right now, maybe the other side of relapse Is wonderful? Can you summon the strength to go find out? Processing can be an organic thing. Don’t force it. Let the process take it’s course. It’s OK.

“I’ve tried keeping myself busy but its hard.”

If trying to keep busy is hard, then stop. Don’t fight it. What’s easier instead? Doing nothing? Mostly we keep busy to avoid something, usually our feelings. Stand tall and face your feelings. Feel them. Be at one with them. It may give you some understanding and movement.

“I guess I’m still bothered by the unanswered questions”

What if your questions remain unanswered? Can you let them go? Write down those questions that bother you – then burn them. After that, write down some new questions that look into what your possibilities are now. What would your life be like if the unanswered questions were all good?

It sounds like you are in a state of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of whats on the other side of relapse, fear of stopping still and fear of whats next.

I would like to offer you this; it’s going to be OK. You will get through this. I really understand how you feel and empathize with what you are going through. For now, close the doors on your past and future. Stay with whats present. Feel whats here now. Focus on you and every moment you are in. Figure out nothing and experience everything.

I can’t tell you what to do. Only you, and you only, can decide that. You will make choices that heal you and move you forward eventually. It’s naturally what we do as human beings. It’s inbuilt.

If you’d like get on touch, I’d be happy to offer you some support.

Be well.

With much love and warmth,

Matt x