Firstly I might offer a very positive “well done” for managing this far – to regain your sense of self after a relationship is no small thing. Speaking from my own circumstances around this issue I’d recommend an approach whereby you cultivate inner happiness (remember that looking after oneself is NOT selfish, when it comes to ensuring that you have enough strength and reserves before you go on wholeheartedly to help others) and hone in on that “target” by means of mindfulness. Don’t fret about the past since it’s unchangeable, don’t worry about the future because in all probability it’s unknowable.. Enjoy the roaming and doing the things you like! Practice feeling those little moments of mirth as deeply as you can and don’t assimilate them in comparison to aspects of the smiles or hugs in relationships. Just remain fixed in the present, noticing all the good things as you go, no matter how small. As you go about your business, being good to yourself, you’ll slowly begin to better find your feet, and if it does anything for you as it has for myself I can say that will at least lead you along a path which will make you feel more healthy and balanced, eventually putting you in a place where people will feel you begin to shine as your authentic self. By taking the “mindful present” option, you can cultivate inner happiness and follow an approach which will leave you open to new friendship possibilities, rather than potentially putting yourself where you may shun new relationships – that isn’t in all likelihood what you wish to be doing. We are interconnected, so just nurture yourself, a bit at a time, and things will start to click again, I’m sure.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 5 months ago by Gavin.